Paint Swatch Collector Pillows

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Instant art

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

17th Century Anonymous Dutch Paintings Museum: Formerly 'Rembrandt Museum'.

Barry Norman

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Do you like my bling?

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'He's been shot!'

The public was right

"God, I love this show!"

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.