Paint Selection Specialist Gifts

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'Quick, press control Z!'

Hazards of mouse painting

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Artist Retrospective.

Sleeping on the Job

Alberto Giacometti.

I'm color blind, please help.

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Ceiling Paint

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

'You never smile at me like that!'

Artist paints an artist.

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

"You have a Picasso?"

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

D.I.Y ladder

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

Apple white paint results in pictures of apples.

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.