Painfully Funny Friend T-Shirts

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

'Great! You mean it's obedience school prom season already!'

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

Big man on Krampus

A parrot business meeting

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

Robinia Floribunda

"Don't leave me dangling!"

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'You're nuts! It isn't any hotter than usual so quit brining up global warming!'

"I don't think I'm quite ready for Satan sings the blues!"

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

'I see you've met Butch.'

'My boss took a pre-emtive strike... he fired me!'

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

I've got a gun.

"Hey, where's Frank?"

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'