Pages And Punches Enthusiast T-Shirts

"So, what are you reading?"

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Rare Books

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'I'd steer clear of the rum punch.'

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Bibliomaniac

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Martial Arts

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Self Raising Flour

Attorney Punching Bag

"We should have taken a eweber."

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

Oh, don't worry about my husband — he's out of town on his silly ninja business.

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

Cat boxer

'This is a crash course.'

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

The Karate Master

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

"Ok! Not the best technique but good power!"