Page-turning Partner Gifts

"If that book is gonna deposit hundreds of grains of sand into our bed later tonight, it better be damn juicy."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"So, what are you reading?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Small child checks out a book.

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

Bibliomaniac

A Truism's Journey

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

Reading in the family.

Writing For Dummies Books For Dummies.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'It will never work. She's touchy-feely, and he is just touchy.'

Campaign 2010.

"We met over the holidays."

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

'I have high hopes of Wisden knocking the Da Vinci code off the top of the best sellers list.'

"Guess who's in love?"

"Congratulations. I just need your initials here."

'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'