Pagan Rituals Pillows

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

"I think it would look better over there!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Nadal's bottles

Indian Face Painting

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Your dinner is in the coven.

For Witches of a Certain Age

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

Yes, Wiccan!

Families barbecue in their back yards while a pagan ritual sacrifice takes place.

Make love and war

'I do like a smoke afterwards.'

"The baby apologises for missing the Christening, he had an urgent appointment."

Dowsing for Coffee

Passover wine - 'I will buy a decent cabaret next year.'

Woman indicates church's no-smoking sign: "Does this mean no more burning of incense?"

Watermelon Cult

'More tea, Wicca?'

"Except for the actual sacrifice, all this is largely symbolic."