Package Hoarder Gifts

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

"Run! My laptop is so full of apps, downloads, old documents, screenshots and junk files, it's about to explode!"

music store

Junk Mail.

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

'It's my secret recipe.'

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

'Give me all your free pens too!'

"You have 2,974 tabs open. I suggest closing about 2,970 of them. That may speed up your computer."

Recycling bins for glass, paper, metal and IDEAS.

'Who has the remote?'

'John's found it harder to kick his eBay habit than drugs.'

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

"I'm sorry I accidentally threw the USB flash drive away. If we go through the trash, we can find it. It should only take a few years."

A barrage of CDs.

"I've run out of computer space. It's filled with fund-raising emails from politicians."