Overpopulation Thinker Pillows

'Sorry, Full'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Try thinking about something else."

"Is all this confusion and complexity necessary?"

"The overthinker"

No Immediate Danger

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

That party went well.

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

You have reached the end of your brain...

Methane Emissions

'You look like you have a lot on your mind, Jim!'

"You're overthinking this."

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

The Thinker and The Reactor.

Flowchart of an idea.

Paper Bath Towels.

Sometimes a Good Excuse to Get off the Telephone is Hard to Find

'On the bright side - the larger the population, the more people there'll be to support your cause.'

"There are tomato genes in the cod, spinach genes in the trout, carrot genes in the halibut..."

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

Interview anxiety

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Dr. Ernie answers your questions about aging. A reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, what will deteriorate fastest as I get older?" Medicare.

"The Talmudic umpire It may have been a strike, since it cut the corner of the plate, and yet it was a trifle high, but not really that high, and yet it seemed to curve over the plate..."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"Someday son, this will all belong to a post-apocalyptic dystopian future."