Overheating Worrier Pillows

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

I.T. Fear

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"The answer is space. I'm sending my kids to space."

Expensive health care

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

"So you want to leave Germany when the Greens come to power. . . Will you take the yacht, the lear jet or should I get you a rubber dinghy?"

"Let's skip Earth - they have crappy Wi-Fi."

"...and in this circle the wi-fi is particularly patchy..."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

Digital Dinosaur

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

"Don't be afraid if you see a Martian. There's no such thing."

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

"Do you every worry that the world's ending and we're just sitting here waiting for brunch?"

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'I was hoping it didn't involve those thin white gloves.'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

"I can always tell when there's something on Ferguson's mind."