Overeating Gifts

'Boy that was a great picnic! I ate too much though and I'm bound to have four stomachaches...'

'Yeah, me, too — I gained it all back over the holidays.'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

All you can eat. . . pizza.

"Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say your body is a temple, more of an amusement arcade."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

'It must of crept on over christmas...'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Overeaters Anonymous - Welcome New Members! What - no buffet?

'Naughty-we've been EATING again,haven't we!'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

Exercise is a great way of losing weight.

Safety barrier in front of refrigerator.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Exciting potato bugs.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"You overwatered the plant, again."

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."