Overcomplication Humorist Pillows

Hammer Instructions

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

"I meant the dog!"

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Music Quiz

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"Mom, all I did was fall off my bike and skin my knee."

Fish Story

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"Dad, my doorknob broke...can you fix it?"

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'