Over-the-top Enthusiast Gifts

'We were thinking of building something a little subtle this time... haha, just kidding, make it horrible.'

'Hello and welcome to the stupidly hyperbolic awards.'

Wife says: 'Very festive, but I can't seem to find the door.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

Peace on Earth

"I'd like to make a return."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

Lancelot put to the Test.

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"You need to take it easier henderson. You're working yourself into the ground"

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

'The view is great, but sometimes you've got to hang out with the non-fliers.'

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Franz Liszt

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

You've got mail...

'This doesn't leave much room for creativity.'

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

"I would rather you not email me your answer!"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you for reading the newspaper."

Private Phone Calls

A No-Nonsense Guy with His No-Nonsense Wife and Their No-Nonsense Dog

"I see you've brought some notes for your interview."