Over The Hill Birthday Gifts

Jell-O: A Life.

Undiagnosed middle-age-onset discomfort summer tour

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

"I'll never forget you."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

"Your chocolate birthday cake weighs 10 pounds. The butter frosting is 1 pound the candles weight 2 ounces each. The total weight of the cake is 13 pounds. How old are you?"

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"Ok, doll! When you hear the last note of Happy Birthday, jump out of the cake and run like hell!"

"Oh boy! My favorite! Squirrel cake!"

Shakespearean birthday

Man holding a birthday cake.

"Think, man! Think! How did you get this old so fast?!"

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

Lady Justice eats birthday cake

'Quick, Birthday Boy...the people need you!'

Ballet Birthday

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

Spring Break!

"Five really snuck up on me."

'Nope, a handmade coupon for 'one free backrub' ain't gonna cut it for our 25th Wedding Anniversary hon...'

'Dave's really over-reacting about turning forty.'

"It's just another birthday. . ."

"I got my wish!"