Outsourcing Manager Pillows

'Our salaries are so low,companies in India are outsourcing to us.'

Offshore Outsourcing

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'We believe in putting people before profits. We put people in China to leave more profits here.'

'All the leading economic indicators,have been outsourced to india.'

"They're a hopeless lot! There's never anybody in."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Counting part time employees is the new math.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

The Devil's in the detail!

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Project Manager Showdown

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.