Outrage Observer T-Shirts

"I'm furious - I've looked at Twitter and Facebook and can't find anything to be offended by."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

AI Summit

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

'I wouldn't worry about going before your time. You're too old to die young.'

Bizarre sights.

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

"Don't touch that Jake! It's bad for you!"

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

'How can you be so cheap?'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

"I've never objected to paying tax... as long as it's other people paying."

End of the Pier Show

"I'm not going into college today, I don't feel enough sense of outrage."

"With all due respect, I prefer the term 'con artisan'."

Church Parking

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

'I don't know why other people pray in school, but I pray in school because I'm not supposed to.'

'Look at the bum on that Wayne, is she that girl that worked at the Burger Shack?'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

"I've watched these workout videos for hours. They haven't helped."

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

"We're close to being reliant solely on renewable sources of outrage."