Outlaw Aficionado T-Shirts

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

Cowboy takes selfie with his wanted poster.

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

Cactus in desert with gun!

'Look, Tex. You've gone viral.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

Ain't No One Ever Messed With Cactus Arm Johnson

"I don't recognize the first two fellers, but I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the Hop-A-Long Kid."

"Our class is studying Henry Starr, Jesse James, and Bonnie and Clyde. We weren't going to, but since the mask thing..."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Next camera crew 5 mins

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

'The highest court in the land.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Make it look like an accident.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"Giddyup."

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

Bank (with saloon type doors)

"My son is a saint - he's always cooperating with the authorities."