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The Unlucky Mechanic

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Painting clouds

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Artist paints an artist.

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

Landscape artist

'Another DIY enthusiast methinks...'

"I like your garden humans"

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

"That's not the real me."

Early Signs of Spring - Your neighbor's wreath is turning a brighter yellow.

Leaking washing machine.

Rotisserie Chicken Rope Maker

Painter drawing bird of prey gets preyed on.

"Dad, my doorknob broke...can you fix it?"

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Hospital. Emergency. Closed. I'm bleeding and the E.R. is closed, What should I do? Just go home? Suture self!

'It's our last resort.'