Outdoor Concert Critic Pillows

"Wonderful! Here's ten pounds. . . to move to the other end of the street!"

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

No Elgar!

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Occupational Hazards.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Inhospitality tent.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

The Music Critic.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

Spider Web Musical Score.

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

A singer being criticised

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

Focus Groupies

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Smashed harp...

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

"Why Bingo Sinclair is the world's greatest clown director"