Outdoor Concert Critic Pillows

"Wonderful! Here's ten pounds. . . to move to the other end of the street!"

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

No Elgar!

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Occupational Hazards.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

Inhospitality tent.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

Spider Web Musical Score.

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

A singer being criticised

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

Focus Groupies

"Why Bingo Sinclair is the world's greatest clown director"

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Young Simon Cowell

Smashed harp...