Outdoor Cleaner T-Shirts

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Painting clouds

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Yardless: Please help

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"Garden variety allergies."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Beginning Yarder.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

"Would you mind filling this with confetti?"

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Windchimes

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Plane windscreen cleaner

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"On second thought Rex, I may just leaven them until spring."

'The staff are calling for transparent management Miss Beamish and this is it.'

Mower Repair

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"