Outdoor Chef With Room For Improvement Gifts

"First barbecue?"

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Sausages.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

His New Grillfriend

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Aprons

Ode to a Grill

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"You like yours well done, right?"

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

Holiday Supplies

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

"Come and get it!"

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'Do you want us to wait till the meat is completely burned or can we call the pizza service right now?'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'