Out-of-this-world Diners Pillows

'Genuine Venutian Bistro.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"For drinks or dinner?"

Wine taster with mineral water

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

Sushi Train Spotters

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I'll have the chef."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'Enjoy?...How?'

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"So, who ordered the burger platter with endless fries?"

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

"Are you still working on that?"