Osteoporosis Awareness Pillows

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

YOLO vs YODO

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

Orthopaedist

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Woman walking a pelvis on a lead.

"Yeah, I'm a Roadrunner, but it is easier on my feet and joints if I run on the grass..."

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"You need to include more calcium in your diet."

'Calcium supplements: aisle three, bottom shelf.'

'Are you taking a calcium supplement?'

The Domestic Violence Workshop Commences At 2:30.

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

'He's getting old.'

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

Woman reading a article titled 'Dead men don't snore',

Osteoporosis Club: You Must Be This Short.

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

HIV Prevention

"It's not just earthquake-resistant paint - it's also that earthquakes hate this particular shade of pink."

'What are you looking at?'

Raccoons, the obsessive compulsive hand washers of nature.

"Did you remember to get a new battery for your hearing aid?"

'Forget the rest, THIS is your future!'

Death taps freezing pensioner on shoulder.

'Typical- Now I've reached an age where I don't mind phoning my mother, she's reached an age where she has no idea who I am.'

'Right after I noticed the bald spot, I started having trouble with my peripheral vision.'