Osteology T-Shirts

Osteologist

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Anti-Agent

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

vaccine wars.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

A midwife holding a baby

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

UK border controls relaxed.

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

Lactose Intolerant

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Your contents have shifted."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"The first one's just a warning."