Orthotics T-Shirts

"Dr. Scholl encounters his arch enemy... FlatFoot."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

Geese's Thoughts.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"One!...Two!...Now spread those tail feathers..."

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

Espresso Martini Peacock

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Love is Blind.