Organizational Development Fan Gifts

'How could anyone think that this department is under staffed?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Raptures

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

Failure/Due Diligence

'The reorganisation is moving along. Here comes the new honcho now.'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

New Memer/Incumbent

Carrot VS Stick

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

"I'm in my third day of trying to figure out which little square I am."

"'Autonomy' is the new BUZZ word! We have to unleash our staff. Professionals like you need to be free to use your own judgement, manage your own workloads...use your initiative."

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

Sales Secretary

'This is the most dysfunctional company I've ever seen. Everyone is in complete denial about the elephant in the boardroom!'

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

Career advice from the boss

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

They Always Say That

The Shepherd's Staff. . .

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

Organization Chart

Carrot & nose on sticks.

Disraeli Cements his Leadership over Conservatives

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

'Keep up the good work, Simmons and we might just take the wheels off.'

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

Resume Consultant. I can polish up your resume, but I won't be able to pound all the dents. (Published originally on Janurary 8, 2009.)

"Does anyone know where the leadership training is taking place."