Professional Development Fans Gifts

"I started off as a sniffer but learning to speak opened up a whole new world for me."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

Carrot VS Stick

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

'How could anyone think that this department is under staffed?'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Career advice from the boss

"Wait a minute! I don’t ignore the concerns of my employees! I listen to them, I discuss with them... and then I ignore them."

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

Women Have To Choose

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'Now that we've discovered a great new laundry detergent, let's try to discover an appropriate price point.'

"Does anyone know where the leadership training is taking place."

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

Resume Consultant. I can polish up your resume, but I won't be able to pound all the dents. (Published originally on Janurary 8, 2009.)

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

'No, the book you want isn't in our self-help section. It's probably under personal growth or finding yourself or possibly ego awareness.'

"Well, he's learned to walk the walk, now he just needs to learn how to talk the talk."

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

"Okay...seriously...it's nothing to worry about, Dad."

The Joys of Retraining

'Get a life? That's it?'

"What other references do you have besides your mother?"

I'm stepping out to look for a better job.

'The three little pigs attended a professional development seminar on dealing with bullies and they were never bothered by the big bad wolf again.'

"It helps me to focus more on success and less on my tail."