Organizational Behavior Experts T-Shirts

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Staff support"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

How leaders fail

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"The meeting will come to order."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Any questions?"

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

Hoodie Hang-out

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Human Recources Management

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

'Jones, I don't like you because it's so hard to find something to blame you for!'

"Read the part when I invented micro management."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.