Organic To The Max Pillows

Woman shops at extreme organic market.

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

But is it organic?

At the market

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Attack of the 'health' foods

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Oh, that poor thing."

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Snow White to witch: 'You're sure it's organic?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"