Organic To The Max Pillows

Woman shops at extreme organic market.

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

But is it organic?

At the market

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh, that poor thing."

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Snow White to witch: 'You're sure it's organic?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'Ethical farm - none of our produce goes to fast food outlets'.

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.