Oral Care Detectives T-Shirts

'I brush all the time and I'm STILL losing teeth.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Science and Coronavirus

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Micro and Macro Department,

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"And if your teeth could hear you, Larry, what would you say to them?"

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

Devil in the detail

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

'The first test was false-positive, the second test was false-negative. What are you trying to pull?'

Remember to always brush your teeth!

When pedants take a break.

'Here's a new toothbrush...I've been using that one on the dog's teeth!'

You're right, Mr. Fusco. Your health insurance does cover pre-existing conditions. So, honestly, how long have you been a wolverine?

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'There's something wrong here. You have all these risk factors, and yet you're in excellent health.'

Forward Planning - The key to Success

"I believe an effective decay-preventive dentifrice when used a conscientious program of oral hygiene can be of significant value and so does my horse."

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'