Optimistic Parents Pillows

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Impressing dad.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'The kids were so sweet...'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."