Optimistic Parents Pillows

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Impressing dad.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'The kids were so sweet...'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Baby's first two-step.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"He looks just like your husband."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."