Opportunist Explorer Gifts

On a late-night flight, fate presents Roger with a golden opportunity. Seizing the moment, he quickly adds two thousand years to his own life.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

The Lost World: You are Here

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"You've been served."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

Amateur Palmist

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"Free why-fi.”

Yonder

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

'Phys Ed -- but I minored in philosophy.'

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'