Opportunist Explorer Gifts

On a late-night flight, fate presents Roger with a golden opportunity. Seizing the moment, he quickly adds two thousand years to his own life.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

The Lost World: You are Here

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"You've been served."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Amateur Palmist

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

Yonder

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"Free why-fi.”

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

'Phys Ed -- but I minored in philosophy.'