Operations Specialist Pillows

"We've just bought some software that's 20% better at being you for half the cost so we're letting you go."

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Failure/Due Diligence

In and Out Sourced.

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

Supply Chain

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"We need to eliminate the middleman."

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

Cheap Labour Countries.

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'I think we need a good Project Manager to coordinate our efforts...'

'We can manage this is we work 24/7 and no one takes a holiday.'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'