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Johann Strauss

Robert Schumann

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Lord Chancellor

"Hugh fans!"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Marcel Marceau's parrot

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

Sir Edward Elgar

Proposal

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

The Costumer Is Always Right

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Tenors

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

Surgery Instructions.

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Napoleon marches off alone

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

"It's a panda-cam production of 'Streetcar,' but it is live theatre."

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"The big screen really brings out the violence."

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

The Molsons. A stunt family.

"Don't forget the spaghetti dinner at Sparolini's after the show."

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

Sailor and mine

'Not another war film.'