Open-minded Philosopher Pillows

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Prejudice/Empathy

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

The Meaning of Life

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"Vince prides himself on his open mind, and you'd be suprised at some of the things that crawl into it."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

'I would be more health conscious if only I could also be unconscious.'

It was the day Malcolm found God.

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

Future Desert Islands.

"Say! You must be new around here!"

"You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about."

RIP Dr. Tom Kent: In my absence contact Dr. G. Hall

'Referring to God as 'she' seems to offend all the right people.' (religious people discussing religion)

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

"You're not the 'love 'em and leave 'em' type, are you?"

"The only problem I have with my belief system is that I always believe it."