Op-ed Reader Pillows

"It's the liberals' fault!. . . It's just too much fun watching their heads explode."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

A great new year (for cartoonists).

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

"Pavlov's Blog."

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

"God has chosen to ignore my prayers concerning the outcome of this year's election, and so I feel that I am once again free to be a very bad little boy."

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"I can't even hear myself think now that everyone has a blog."

'Whales record their life events in their earwax.'

Man reading in lamp

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Suicide

NY Tribune Joins NY Herald on Hobby Horse of Anti-Grant Editorials

Pot and Kettle

'He's a man of few words. Words to the editor not included.'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

"Do you have an opinion on opinion polls?"

"I don't believe the liberal weather media!"

Editorial Page - People Who Agree With You vs. Idiots

"The network's infotainment division thinks you should open with a song."

'I got a video broadcasting degree with a minor in news reading and a major in perky.'

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

'ANCHOR doesn't mean you drag the whole network!'

"If you want to vent your anger about politicians, dear, go into the garden and dead head some flowers."