Online Shopping Junkie Pillows

"I guess we'll know Ol' Mister Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

How Amazon was invented

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

Terms and conditions

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

"You get one every time you order something online."

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

You Shouldn't Have

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Drones

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

'Don't forget to delete cookies when you shop online!!"

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

"I'm developing an app that solves the problem of not being able to buy things slightly more conveniently."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"Ah, sweatpants."