Online Shopping Aficionados Gifts

'That? That's a store, hon. In the olden days people would buy things in stores instead of online.'

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

"Ordering groceries online can be unpredictable."

Man collects parcel nude as he has just woken up.

ISIS threatened to attack the Mall of America. That's so 1990s. What? Most people don't shop in malls anymore. Most of us shop online from home or from our phones. Someone should tell them the shopper-threatening business just isn't what it used to be. You're not taking them seriously enough. Wake me when they figure out how to send hordes of miniaturized men into my iPhone.

"You've been selling your acorns on ebay?"

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

How Amazon was invented

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Customer Convention

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Terms and conditions

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Drones

'I found it on Craig's List.'

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"I'm developing an app that solves the problem of not being able to buy things slightly more conveniently."

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Ah, sweatpants."

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

'That's the last time I buy sled dogs on ebay.'

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."