Online Relationship Pillows

"We met through an internet chat group. Now he wants to mail me his digitalised sperm."

"I'm sorry Tom, you're just not the man I 'friended'."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Online Dating

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Everybody meets online these days."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Your website or mine?'

Today's love

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

cuPad

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"It must have been fate that brought us together."