Online Persona Lover Gifts

'Not the 'Grizzlydog2576'? I love your posts!'

"I know. But I think I can change him."

My Spam Sketchbook

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

Online Dating for Dummies

"Look on the dark side."

The reserved and the go-ers.'

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

Transactional Analysis... Making complex ideas simple!

When psychiatry works too well!

"Of course I'm being 'catty'."

"I hoped you'd like the size of it."

"Yeah, I see the outgoing calls, but what about the introverted ones?"

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

"You're a very complex carbohydrate."

"I'd like to meet the algorithm that thought we'd be a good match."

Types of online-ing

'My mind keeps wandering into restricted areas.'

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

"Well, if you can't accept me as I really am, have you seen my Facebook page?"

"I keep changing my profile picture."

Public Speaking Shoes

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is a standard definition of insanity. It also sums up five years of therapy.

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic.'

'Talk about snooty. She was listed as 'most likely to be googled' in the class yearbook.'

'You look exactly like your tweets.'

'Doc, this is your lucky day! I'm having a yard sale of my collective unconscious!'

Cyber Sex

'According to your social network activities, you're a man-mad, boozy little hussy. You can start working here tomorrow.'

'You may not believe this, but even though we're siamese twins, our personalities are quite different.'