Online Interview Experts T-Shirts

"Oh yes, I've been passionate about chimney sweeping for my whole life, and I think I'll fit right in with the team."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"On the contrary. For this position we're looking for someone who can think 'inside the box'."

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"Job interview!"

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."