Online Interview Experts Prints

"Oh yes, I've been passionate about chimney sweeping for my whole life, and I think I'll fit right in with the team."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

"On the contrary. For this position we're looking for someone who can think 'inside the box'."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"Job interview!"

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'