Online Health Resource Explorer Pillows

'I've already diagnosed myself on the web but I thought I'd come in for a second opinion.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

A man's health care options.

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'Has the medication had any other side effects?'

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

Aromatherapy.

"That's my diagnosis, and don't waste time looking it up. I've already consulted with Siri and Alexa."

"I'm dating an MRI technician."

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

"While we don't believe in vaccination for our child, we're not entirely against keeping him safe and healthy."

'I think it's 'feed a cold'...not 'drown a cold'!'

'Who wants to live longer if you have to live without cookies.'