Online Drinking Aficionados Pillows

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'I'm an atheist!'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

Whiskey wars

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Rabbit Punch

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"We met in the biscuit aisle."

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"Your shout!"

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Sharing Drinks.

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

Scotch and soda on a drip.

"Nothing says 'Fourth of July' like beer, hot dogs, and antacids."