Social Drink Enthusiast Pillows

'I can remember the days when you could buy a round of drinks in cash without reaching for your chequebook.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Just the one...

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'The King of what?'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

Next Round Indicator

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

'Malty tasking.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Whiskey wars

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"You want your olive?"