Online Dating Observer Pillows

'Not only do I live with my mother, she filled out my computer dating form.'

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

Online Dating

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Your website or mine?'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Today's love

cuPad

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."