Online Dating Ditcher Pillows

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Your website or mine?'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

cuPad

Today's love

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Everybody meets online these days."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."