Online Complain Enthusiast Pillows

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Moanathon.

'Not the bloody batteries again.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Airline concerns.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"There's a grouch on my couch."

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"I think I speak for all of us."

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"The Grumpy Old Man comes with a side of, Get A haircut, Turn That Thing Down or Get Off My Lawn."