Online Competitor Gifts

Internet first

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Miss America IQ Pageant

City Marathon.

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Painter's Duel.

'My app just ate your widget.'

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

Skateboard Olympics.

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

'This information is on a need-to-screw-others basis.'

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

Weapons of Mass Comparison

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

'Staying Competitive in Business' Conference

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

'My turn now!'

Piggy bank at starting blocks.

"Honey! I;m in a thousandth place!"

"It's the latest internet challenge, 30 mins no screen time."

"OK, Mr. Johnson, after you take the computer out of the office toilet where you threw it, try rebooting..."

'Michael, go in there and help your father before he throws another tantrum.'

'Fine, thank you. And how are you?'

"Those are for winning social media wars."

'Someday I will beat you in a staring contest.'

Conscientious objection.

"No way am I less elitist than you. That is such nonsense!"

'Start your search engines!'