Online Communicator In The Wild Pillows

'Primitive camp' has WiFi.

Moses on the web

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"OMG, LOL!"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Online Dating

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Technology and Love

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness