Online Affair Navigator T-Shirts

'We've got stop seeing each other - my wife is getting suspicious!'

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"